The Ugly Truth - Warning Spoilers and R rated language.

It's rated R and the language certainly warrants it. But I'm not here to post a review. I want to discuss the theme. Rom Com - Girl meets guy; Girl thinks guy is crude and crass; girl has to work with guy. Then guy decides he's going to tell her what men really want to help her get the guy who she recently met that has "9 out of 10 attributes on her list" or something to that affect.

Gerard Butler's character tells her that men are visual. On an earlier cable show he makes it clear that if a gal wants to get a guy - he says it's just two words: Stair Master.

Now I found that offensive and wondered, "Is this really what all men want"? Just looks with great tits and ass? How does that work though? Not all guys are going to get a good looking girl. But that's what they want? Wow! How shallow. But then I thought to myself, it is any less shallow than the gal who wants the good-looking doctor, who takes her on picnics and likes cats? (Yes, that's in the film).

Let me digress for a sec. I went to a local department store the day after I saw the film and mentioned it to one of the female clerks in the teen department. She couldn't have been older than 18 or 19 herself and when I mentioned who was in the film (after she asked) she says to her coworker, "Oooo, he's the guy that had the 8 pack in 300!" To which I replied, "He doesn't have an 8 pack now - more like he's had one too many six-packs of beer."

Of course I was just trying to be funny - he's not that bad - okay maybe a bit chunky. But I realized I was doing the same thing that many men seem to do - judge someone by their looks. So was I any better than any guy out there? Are women any better in general?

I mean, many of us talk about wanting a nice guy who'll respect us and who'll choose us for who were are inside, not what we look like outside. And yet, we too often do the same thing. Judge a person by their looks. Determine too often who they are only by how they look and not by the person they really are inside.

And what about these damn lists that so many women have. A checklist to determine if the guy passes muster. I realize shared values is important but are we so rigid that if someone doesn't have most if not all the attributes we don't give them a chance?

So I started to look at the attributes I would look for in a man. And I realized, even if subliminally, I do have a list. Albeit a short one, but a list nonetheless.

Here's my list:

1. Sense of humor - life throws so many challenges & curves at us - it'd be nice to be with someone who can laugh off some of those curves.

2. Yet, despite having a sense of humor - knowing when it's appropriate and when too much is too much. Perhaps meaning that they are mature enough to realize when humor is not appropriate.

3. A guy who has a job - I believe both should share in the living expenses. He doesn't have to be rich - in fact - far from it. I would never want to be with someone just for their money. Yet, I've seen too many women use that as the main and often only criteria to being with a man. Sure, you may have nice things, you may live in a nice house and your kids will go to good schools - but if you're with someone only for their money and can't stand them otherwise, you've set yourself up for many unhappy years. I guess you could go shopping to ease the pain - or worse turn to the bottle or drugs - but then what life did you really live? Hey, I figure we have a finite amount of time on this earth (Shirley McClain of course, being the exception) so I'd sure hate to live my life and be on my deathbed and regret the life I lived. How sad.

4. A guy who has a good relationship with his family, but isn't tied to anyone member (you momma's boy know exactly who I'm talking about!) It's good that a guy gets along with and respects his mother - but please - once you're in a serious relationship with someone - cut the apron strings and move on to what should be your first priority. The relationship, if this is the person with whom you've decided and committed to spending the rest of your life, should be your first priority.

5. Someone who does not smoke, drink excessively nor do drugs. Harsh? I think not. I'm into keeping my health - living with a smoker would seriously compromise that and someone who drinks excessively and does drugs isn't someone that I want to spend time with. Again with the thought that we have a finite amount of time on this earth - I would hate to spend it being an enabler or being abused because of the drug or alcohol use.

6. Perhaps a certain level of intelligence. I don't mean he has to be a genius but seriously someone who isn't dumber than a doornail would be nice. Again too harsh? Well I think not. I dated a guy in my youth who was good looking and I'll have to admit very good in bed. But he was dumb. Not just uneducated - dumb. He couldn't even tell when I was joking. He didn't get "wit." And I have to sheepishly admit, that once I realized how truly dumb he was the sex and his looks became so less important. Dare I say, he was too boring? I couldn't have a conversation with him. So at least some intelligence would be great.

So we all seem to have our lists. Guys may have much shorter lists:

1. Female (or not)

2. Good tits

3. Good ass

4. Breathing

And not necessarily in that order.

Okay, I'm being mean. I'm sure there are many, many men out there that look for more in a woman. And should one present himself - I'll be sure to let you know.

Gonna Be Starting Something

Why am I here? Probably the same reason others are here - I have something to say and I'm able to express my thoughts without being interrupted. My initial thought is to make this music and film related - but not in the way you might think.

I'm not interested in meeting or following the careers musicians or filmmakers. This won't be a blog about where your favorite artist may be performing or when a film will be opening - I just want to explore some of the themes that I find intriguing in films and in music that something that a site like Twitter does not give me enough characters to do. But if a musician or filmmaker wants to comment on the topics on here, they are welcome to do so.

We put so much emphasis in the quick, the instant gratification; the short snippets of thoughts that I felt stifled. And when I've tried to bring up some of these thoughts on other blogs I felt that others may not have shared my enthusiasm or thought I was straying too much off topic.

I don't know about you - but there is so much I can discuss about a celebrity or one genre of film or music without getting bored - seriously how many times can one read a discussion about some celebrity guy's ass before they run out of adjectives and start to get repetitive? Yawn!

Here comments will be welcome but I reserve the right to delete any comment I want. It's not that I advocate censorship but really, I'm not going to be someone's advertising spot and I won't put up with abuse. I'm happy to discuss, debate, defend or even change my opinion, but if you become abusive yer outta here.

I'm tired of some of the childish games people want to play when they comment. Spam will be removed. I don't give a damn about seeing some hot sexy chick on some lowlife's website. And no, I won't be looking for a date or a business opportunity.

But I will welcome comments that help move the discussion along. And if there are no comments, no problem, I'm happy to just express my thoughts and leave it at that.

So I'll start finish my first post with a question. Have you ever wondered why we are drawn to music? Not just the lyric - I realize everyone has some song that has lyrics that reminds them of something that relates to their life, but I'm talking about the actual melody, notes, tones, etc.

Whales have song, birds have song and humans have song, but we also have the ability to reach such highs and lows in vocal tones and we sit entranced, for example, when a violin hits a high note or a singer sustains a note.

I wonder why we feel music. Why it can send chills up our spines or give us a rush of sensation when we hear a note or a series of notes that move us.

If I imagined myself as if I were in outer space (gasping for air of course) or perhaps of another world visiting Earth for the first time and heard music, what would I think of this ability that humans (and other animals) have to create these sounds and tones?

And what would I think of seeing a stadium filled with people, sitting entranced listening to a singer, or a band or an orchestra?

What draws us to music? Why do we love it so?